Living with another person is really starting to get on my nerves.
Even though she's my best friend, Shell can be a lot to handle sometimes.
Like, yesterday, she comes home, eats all of my emergency potstickers,
and kicks me off the couch where I'm studying to watch TV! She never does
the dishes and complains about the groceries that I buy. I'm the only
one who buys anything around this house because she is unemployed, and
yet I'm the one who's only eating 1 meal a day.
I really shouldn't be mad at her though, because I never tell her when
things bother me :-/. It's just these finals have got me worked up over
every little thing.
It's the last week of the quarter, and since computer science students generally
don't have exams past their second year, it's hell. Because the thing they don't
tell you about having no exams during finals week is that all your culminating
projects are going to be due the week before. So, you're tortured by the deadlines
and also forced to go to lecture in this state.
But whatever. I'm not going to complain about my memory allocation project (even though
if you'd like to know what a BITCH that assignment is, you can read the spec
here)
I heard from a guy I was involved with this summer yesterday. We used to send each
other music, and even though I kind of didn't like anything he sent me it was nice
because it's like sharing a part of you with someone and that's a good feeling.
But now I don't even know if I like men, and I definitely don't like him anymore, not
like that. Is it normal to feel burdened by maintaining friendships? Does that make
me a shitty person or just busy?
Damn, we're off to a bad start- I haven't written in like a week because I'm a little bitch. Oh well.
In embarrassment news- Shell got me sick over Thanksgiving break,
and even though I'm not sick anymore I have this stupid residual phlegm (ugh)
and it comes up at the worst times. Like, a couple days ago I was sitting in lecture
and I get this urge to hark up my guts. I fight it so hard I start to cry actual
tears. My face is so red at this point and I'm crying and making these rattling
noises. And all in front of Tallahassee, since I sit at the front. ARGH.
I always embarrass myself in front of her- like this Wednesday we walked in at
the same time and she saw me and said hi- I tried to say hi back but my voice
was shot so I just gargled something, then I held the door foor her and she said
thanks and instead of shutting up I gargled something AGAIN. God aren't I endearing?
But anyways, I'm here to talk about why I hate Luke P. If you don't know who Luke P. is-
he's one of the worst men on the planet. He was a contestant of season 15 of the
bachelorette, and all he had going for him is that he's built. Otherwise, the man's a psycho.
He got through 2 months of manipulating this poor woman on national television by
sabotaging all of her relationships, gaslighting her, and twisting a narrative so
completely unhinged that to anybody but the people involved it would make no send.
And the worst part is I've known men like that, slimy motherfuckers who want a woman
as a decoration, as a status symbol, like an expensive dog. It shows such a lack
of respect towards women that I can't even comprehend how it must feel. It's like
on the border of being a serial killer.
Ugh today is straight out of a movie, but only the part where
everything goes wrong for the main character and their hair looks
like shit. First, I woke up with a sore throat (I think Shell's illness
finally wore off on me). I had to wake up at like 7 to talk to my
advisor about my capstone and STILL no progress with that. Then I
got sucked into a coding project and I just couldn't tear my eyes away
so I was like 10 minutes late leaving for ethics. My super expensive
headphones that I really shouldn't have bought (but they were smiling at
me so I had no choice) shorted out on me yesterday, so I had no music.
It's raining today because God hates me, and while I was standing at the
crosswalk tapping my foot this car swerves right next to me and splashes
a puddle ALL OVER MY VINTAGE RAVE 4 REAL JEANS (WITH THE PINK STITCHING)
!!! They must have just been jealous or something. I was so frustrated
I said "f***!" and then a tiny innocent voice from behind me says "Daddy,
what's f***?". I wish I was making this shit up. I had to stand next to
this poor family who I didn't even realize was behind me in this weirdo
tense silence and pretend I wasn't a heathen who said fuck. God, the
catholic guilt. I'm not even christian!
So anyways I get to ethics suuuuper early
and I had to wait for the class before to get out, but then 10 minutes after
the bell rings I'm still the only one sitting in this empty class like a
total IDIOT. So apparently ethics was cancelled because of the holiday,
which would be like a total yay if I had known that about 2 hours earlier.
Now I'm soaking wet in the library, and this girl sits next to me wearing
the same outfit as me. This is after I made an effort to original and unique
and cool. I can't believe it! I think I have some cosmic curse placed
on me that gives me terrible karma or something like that. I kept telling
Shell that she's cursed so she said maybe the curse jumped onto me. With
the day I'm having I wouldn't be surprised.
Anyways, how was your day? I hope it was better than mine. Even doing nothing
would be better than this. Do you like the snow? I made it myself ;-)